I want to throw out every item of food in my house.

I haven't binged in ages. Well seems like ages. But boy did I binge tonight. I feel like i'm going to explode. I want to cry and scream and omg this is such a shit fucked up day :( 

I am never going to be skinny at this disgusting rate.

I grossly ate

- nachos
- baked potatoes with spaghetti and shit load of cheese
- le rice snack

YUCK 

Can't wait to see the scale in the morning. Not.

I thought i'd stopped the laxatives but stupidly had a liquid one right after the fibre I drank.

I want to puke but hate puking so much. I'm starting to hate food more though. I've already thrown out snacks my bf left here. Might get to throwing out the rest of the bad calorie shit.

I don't need this shit.

Fuck it, back to liquid fasting.

As of now 10pm

Till - at least wednesday night. 48 hours.

Who's in ?? Support would be great

xoxoxoox

some things
never change
maybe we can
start all over again

maybe
maybe not

some people
never change
so maybe we can

maybe
maybe not

I just calculated my bmi and it is 18.3 my goal bmi is 17.0. Thats 7lbs I have to lose! Im really trying to get there by January 5th because thats when I go back to school.
Hope everyone is doing well! Im so bored, I think im about to workout. Its 3:40am and stupid insomnia has me up again...

I finally got a computer in my room again!!! Woohoo! I'll be commenting you guys again ;) lol

This will probably be widely classified a TLDR, but I think it's inspiring, so I'm gonna post it anyway. Plus, I still have such a surplus of joy over The Run that I think it would be selfish not to share. So here you are:

( No Earthbound Thing )

heyaa girless ok i really need your advice i want to lose 5 pounds and 4 inches off my stomach in 9 days so i got untill wednesday the 6 of janury thats when i start back college
im thinking of starting a new diet ( below )
breakfast half past 9 : 150 Calories 2 weetbix some milk
snack half past 11 : 55 calories 1 yoghurt
dinner 2 o clock : 250 calories 1 picecs of fish
another snack 5 o clock : 150 calories half a tin of beans
supper half past 7 : 150 calories 2 weetbix some milk again lols
last snack 10 o clock : 55 calories another yogurt
2-4 hours running or speed walking a day 1000 sit-ups a day weights / toning half an hour 4 times a week its 810 calories a day
but will i lose weight on this diet when i am having so many calories or should i hardcore resicted and do tones of excrise ? ? ?
i REALLY REALLY need your help guys please please help me ! !
all my love and support rose x x x x

I'll be running my first (but not last!) marathon on January 10th (Walt Disney World). I know each event is different, but what advice do you wish you'd been given for your first? What were you not expecting?

I'm wondering specifically about fuel on the course. Do you like to bring your own water and blocks/gel so you don't have to rely on aid stations?

Thanks!

hi all!

is there a minimum number of times/week you need to run to get benefit from running?

I'm having issues trying to figure out how to fit in yoga & judo & running & weight training while actually having something resembling a rest day if I'm running more than once/week and to make matters worse when the weather gets nice I have a bicycle and a kayak that will start demanding attention... this would be much easier if I didn't have a 40hour work week ...or maybe harder given a lack of food? Is it helpful to even bother if you're running less than 3x per week?

thoughts?

thanks!

there is good news and there is bad.
good news: my friends did me a birthday surprise and it was very sweet and thoughtful :)
bad news: i broke my fast and fucking binged!
another bad news: i am terribly bloated.

it used to be so easy for me to lose weight. i was so skinny and perfect. now am FAT.
anyway, WATER fast tomorrow + shit load of exercise.

okay and sorry to say this but, i HATE wanabe anorexics!! wat the fuck?? is this for real? do they actually want an eating disorder? there is a difference between starving yourself and having anorexia. u can NEVER develop anorexia because you want to! so srsly get over yourself! this is so disturbing. GOD!

hope i dont offend anyone but its for your own good to stop what you are doing. just bc u have a pretty anorexic friend doesnt mean they are happy! doesnt mean u will be like her! srsly dont do this to urself.

so how is everyone doing? what do you guys think about the wannabe anorexics?

ur all amazing and supporting girlss.. good luck <3
XXX

This post has nothing of substance other than to say that according to Mr. Scale:

OH MY GOODNESS HOLIDAY EATING AND INDULGING ENDS TODAY.

It wasn't long into its championship celebration that the Parkton (Maryland) Hereford High boys cross-country team got the word: It was being dropped to third place because one of its runners had been disqualified.
For the color of the stitches on his undergarment.

That's right, the fourth-place finisher for Hereford in the Baltimore County championships on Monday was disqualified because the black compression shorts he was wearing under his running shorts had visible white stitching, a violation of the rules set forth by the National Federation of High Schools.

The rule clearly states that all undergarments must be a single color.

The full story is here.

My throat feels as though it's closed over. I think it's from the weed almost immediately after purging. Either that or the winter germs have finally got to me. My day is now going to be spent lying on my sofa, watching Come Dine With Me.
OOOH, i now have two 10lb ankle/wrist weights :) well, they've been ordered and payed for, so now just a short wait for them to arrive :)

Prom dress shopping soon. Prom is going to be... odd. Very judgemental, and extremely bitchy. It's an all-girl school, so that's 120 girls, and their plus ones. All the fuss about hair and makeup and dresses... my hair's dry and falling out, my skin's in the shitter because i've been picking at it non-stop, and dresses, i'll have to order mine and such last minute so that it's got more chance of fitting. Ugh. So much hassel.

This is the dress i'm looking at buying, ( Read more... )

Further down is a post I made on 7/7/2008. Basically marking the second straight year I'd been single. I haven't had much more than a hug from a woman since 6/30/2006, the night my most recent girlfriend threw me away, two weeks after my 23rd birthday. All of 23, all of 24, all of 25, half of 26 spent alone with no comfort in sight.

Constantly over hearing guys and girls at bars complaining that they haven't gotten laid in ( X ) days/weeks... I guess I should feel bad for them. Three and a half YEARS and counting! God I feel like such a fucking loser, a fat, ugly, loser... I'm not valuing sex, I just want female companionship so badly... I want to hold her and know I have Heaven in my arms. Someone to hold, talk to, confide in, love, defend/protect/fight for, bring joy to... You ask for the same thing for four years and nothing comes seems like madness...

2009 is over and I'm in the same exact place I was 3 and a half years ago. I had told myself that I'll get a girlfriend in 07... Something good will happen in 08... I won't try because it'll just happen in 09... Writing this right now makes me feel like I have a hole in my heart. What do I say in a few days when this decade ends? I may as well say that I'll find her in 2007. This will be the fourth straight New Years of watching all my friends hold and kiss their girlfriends and wives at midnight as I look down at my drink on the verge of tears.


Sitting in the dark,
The only illumination from my MacBook and Itunes.
Relaxing songs can be heard in the background.
A playlist created by my angel and I.

Sitting on my bed
Holding my seraph in my arms.
Her back to my chest, her head lays on my shoulder...
Close my eyes and take in the scent of her shampoo
No words are spoken, pleasantly interrupted
by phrases of sweet nothings.

I awaken and from my heaven,
I fall back to earth,
arrive in hell,
remembering I have no angel

Sitting in the dark,
The only illumination from my MacBook and Itunes.
Sad songs can be heard in the background.
A playlist I created.

Sitting on my bed
Holding my chest in my arms.
my heart is in pain, tears run to my shoulder...
Close my eyes and see myself
No words are spoken, painful thoughts ensue
of how alone I am.


It's 2010 and my youth is dying with no one to share it with...

Hey y'all! Gosh I think its been like a month since ive posted anything! Nothing good has happened though :( being out of school has made me gain weight ugh it sucks! But since its been a while i will post my stats again.

height: 5'1 (I think??possibly5'2 idk)
CW:97Lbs (GroSS)it makes me depressed just typing it :(
HW:103Lbs (WORST day of my life!)
LW:84Lbs (BEST day of my life!)

I really wanna get back into the 80s that is my ALL TIME GOAL! But I gotta start slow. So here are me goal weights:

1st: 95Lbs
2nd: 93Lbs
3rd: 90Lbs I hope I can make it!

I hope everyone has been doing good and had a GREAT Christmas! :)

I certainly wish I'd found this group when I first started training for my 5k 3 weeks ago. Anyway, I'm one race in, but hope to do another race the beginning of next year. A co-worker and I are running partners. We're hoping to shave time off our first race.

I dig cold air running. I love it. I don't know why. I actual fear the heat because I hate heat.

I also have a deathly fear of treadmills. I don't know if it comes from seeing too many America's Funniest Videos that end with a person careening of the edge of a treadmill only to hit their head on the coffee table or tackle the dog or if it's some weird fear that robots will take over one day and they'll know how fast and long we can run because we've programed our running stats into their little digital interfaces.

One thing I need to work on is hill running. The 5k I did had a monster hill so any tips are appreciated.

I did my 20-mile run today, and it went much better than I had expected after the problems I had encountered the past few weeks. Now for three weeks of tapering.

I didn't walk at all during the entire 20 miles, but I did make a pit stop for four minutes at ten miles. There was a conveniently placed contractor's porta-jane there, and I needed to make use of it. And I stopped for about another half minute or so for traffic lights.

I started running at 11:07:28, and finished at 4:01:10: 4:53:42 total time, for a 14:41 pace including the stopped time. This was about 20 minutes faster than my 20-mile run while training for Nike last year. And I collapsed after that run last year.

ETA: At about 12 miles, my left foot and ankle started to hurt, and by 14 miles, I was at the "one more mile, and then I'll decide" phase. By 17 miles, it stopped hurting more, and I wasn't going to quit with only 5K left. And I didn't even feel it during the last mile and a half or so.

Today's run put me at 115 miles for the month and 1,001 for the year.
/ETA

The only downside was that the 8-hour battery on the garmin flaked out in the 19^th mile. It had just enough juice left in it for me to start and stop it just as I finished the run, so it could record the finish time, and compute the total elapsed time. I guess that I'll wear my 301 for the marathon; it has a 13-hour battery, so it should last the 6+ hours for that race.

 I really didn't want to b/p on Christmas..alas.

Today was really scary though... :( I was on the tube in the london underground and i felt really sick and then there was a man looking at me and was really close to my face asking me whether i had diabetes.

Turns out..i had passed out on the completely packed train against the door and when the doors opened, i fell out and crashlanded face-first on to the platform ..F*CK that was scary. The man put me in the recovery position and waited 'till i came round. My dad then ran off the tube train and the man vanished...

 

I was so embarrassed cause i was suddenly in the position of the person laying on the floor with a crowd of people around them.

 

Lack of food sucks. You'd think the body could make do with its own disgusting fat to live off, and believe me, there is enough of it in my case.. and HELLO! what the hell happened to fasting? ...not eating for days and then wtf? I had only not eaten for two days.. 

 

BUT now, joy of joys, i am being WATCHED by my sister and Dad who see to it that i eat.

Do you have any tips on barely eating anything but not passing out? 


Stay safe..

i just spend a little time reading through all your posts,
christmas is wierd... well its 22:06 here now... so its almoast over for me... yaay

i gained... i think i'm back to 55.5kg tomorrow morning... but i enjoyed my christmas with my bf... and i'm sick now... i've something like otitis... not sure it really is that yet... but it hurts really badly...

ok i'm planning on going back under 55 befor new years... and then in 2010 i'll NEVER be more than 55.0 and will first go to 52 kg... need to get to 52... thats a BMI of 20... would be great... really... i think i'll give a party when i'm finaly 52... just not tell people its because of that:P i didn't had a birthday party this year (i'm 19 since the 29th of november) so i can do that;P
and then ofcours to 50 kg (thats 110 pounds and from 55.5 kg thats still 12 pounds to lose) i really want to be there as soon as possible.. but atleast befor may!

and i'm a little afraid of the moment i'll start trying to stay at the same weight... because i find it so much easyer to be losing weight (or gaining) but staying the same weight is somehow impossible...

wel 2010 is a new start for lots of things... i'll come up with a list for the new year is a few days... going to bed now:P

hope you all had a nice christmas!?!

*hug*
mathilde

This started as a reply in the dailies, but it started getting long so I decided to give it its own post.

I've decided to run the Cleveland Marathon on May 16. When I register within in the next 2 weeks, I get an earlybird gift- anyone have any experience with what this is?? I WILL find out for myself and let you guys know-- I also save $10 by registering by Jan. 8, and I'm all over that.

Today I'm going to do a 3 mile run at marathon pace. McMillan says I can run a marathon at a 10:44 min/mile pace. This is based on my best 5K time and I know that the accuracy is better if your predictor is closer to the distance you are going to be running, but I figure... the marathon is in May. It's December. I looked at all the paces that I will need to run (long run, recovery run, easy run, etc) and they are all well-within my capabilities. If I don't TRAIN for a 10:45 pace, I DEFINITELY won't do it... so why not try??

I ran my first marathon almost a year ago... and had a very off-year, running-wise (as in, for the majority of the year, I just didn't do it). I found myself marveling at the fact that a year ago, I'd be setting out for a 16 or 18 or 20 mile run with no doubt that I could do this. After not running for a while, that seemed just completely beyond my comprehension. I was having a hard time getting the mindset back.

Last night my brain went into overdrive. In addition to making a timeline for the rest of the year for my job (elementary school music teacher- need dates for 3 more concerts as well as planning the preparation for said concerts), I sat down with my running schedule and planned that out more specifically. There are still things I need to hone, but I feel like I put the next layer on the schedule. I'm psyched and excited (er, and redundant) and am back in the mindset of "I've got this"!

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you'll land among the stars." -Les Brown